**LinkedIn NPCs:
A Field Guide to the Characters Commenting Under Every Promotion Post**
My teenage kids tell me that saying “good morning” feels automated. Calling someone just to say hello? Unnecessary. The word cringe and NPC lands at the end of more conversations than I’m comfortable admitting.
Which made me wonder how they would survive on the world’s most professionally cheerful platform: LinkedIn. Would they eventually inherit our templated warmth and pre-approved enthusiasm? Or reject it entirely and invent something more real?
So...after ~accidentally~ conducting a small research project on LinkedIn’s comment sections (read: scrolling until my soul left my body), I’ve discovered that we are living through a golden age of NPC-style interaction. The intent is always positive. The execution? Somewhere between corporate déjà vu and AI-generated affirmations.
The irony: LinkedIn copy has become so formulaic that AI sounds more human than half the humans.
Here are my Top 5 Comment Archetypes shaping the platform...the characters who show up under every promotion, new role, project launch, and career update. Enjoy!
01 — The Congratulations Bot
NPC Class: Cheerleader Unit 001
They appear instantly — before the poster’s own mother has even seen the update. Their goal is simple: congratulate, loudly, and with the emotional depth of a helium balloon.
Patterns:
Short. Generic. Algorithm-friendly.
The AI-adjacent cousin of “Have a nice day.”
Example comments:
Huge congrats! Well deserved!
Amazing news — thrilled for you!
Big win! So happy to see this!
Congrats on the new chapter!
So proud! Keep shining!
These comments are harmless, kind — and interchangeable to the point that you could shuffle them like cards and deal them out at random. Nobody would know.
02 — The Corporate Fortune Cookie
NPC Class: Wisdom Dispenser Mk II
This character believes a promotion post deserves a life lesson. A short LinkedIn sermon. A tiny embroidered pillow of encouragement.
Patterns:
Vague philosophy. Workplace spirituality.
Reads like a mindfulness app that pivoted into B2B.
Example comments:
Hard work always finds its moment.
Your journey is a reminder that growth is constant.
The universe rewards those who show up.
Every ending plants the seed for a new beginning.
Success is never a straight line — you’re proof of that.
These are the comments that could easily be generated by AI, printed on a mug, or whispered by a mentor in a motivational montage. LinkedIn loves them.
03 — The Humble Brag Supporter
NPC Class: Mirror Polisher
This person is here to celebrate you — while subtly making the moment about themselves. Their comment is praise, but also a humble brag disguised as support.
Patterns:
“I always knew…”
“I remember when…”
“I saw this coming…”
Self-insertion with a warm glow.
Example comments:
Not surprised at all — called this months ago!
I remember when we first worked together… look at you now!
Knew you were destined for big things when we met.
Told so many people you’d be one to watch.
This is exactly the trajectory I predicted for you.
On one hand, it’s sweet. On the other, it’s basically someone standing behind your spotlight holding a small, reflective dish.
04 — The Team Pride Parade
NPC Class: Unity Enthusiast, Patch 3.0
When someone announces a project launch, this NPC materialises instantly to say how proud they are of “the team” — regardless of whether they were fully involved, slightly involved, or vaguely aware via a calendar invite.
Patterns:
Collective pride. Glowing statements.
Designed to reinforce visibility within the organisational ecosystem.
Example comments:
Couldn’t be prouder of this team — such an amazing achievement.
An absolute honour to work alongside every one of you.
This project shows what can happen when great minds come together.
Incredibly grateful for this team and everything we created.
This is what true collaboration looks like — amazing work team!
This cluster of comments often reads like everyone is writing the acknowledgements section of their autobiography.
05 — The Algorithm Sacrifice
NPC Class: Engagement Farmer
These characters don’t comment because they care. They comment because the algorithm must be fed. Small offerings. Minimal calories. Enough to keep their reach warm.
Patterns:
One-word comments. Emoji trains.
Comments that technically exist — but spiritually do not.
Example comments:
Wow.
Incredible.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
👏👏👏
Love this.
This is where AI took over ages ago — because the human input is so templated that machines outperform the originals with ease.
